The first is that I have essentially grown up with the people I practice with. I first met them as a student and have since then been privileged enough to have, not only worked with them and call them colleagues, but also call them friends.
The second is that I am closing a door. One year ago this evening, I separated from my then partner. I thought at the time my world as I knew it had ended. I was right. It had. I also thought that I had made a terrible mistake and that I had done this. I had pushed her into another mans arms by lavishing her with presents and not my presence.
The truth, I was wrong!
Yes, my world as I had known it for the past 11 years had ended. I no longer had to tip toe around, apologise for having an opinion or apologise for being dedicated to something I truly love doing.
In all honesty when the smoke had cleared I felt a sense of relief. I had sacrificed too much of myself. I had somewhere along the line lost my identity and willingness to just breathe!
12 months on and what I have learnt is simple. Be yourself!
If people cannot accept you for the way you are then don't apologise for it. Simply close that door and move on. If they are true friends they will understand you and accept you for who you are.
When leaving, I did not want a big fan fare. The truth for me is, it's just been too hard on both a professional and personal level.
I have had my ups and downs with the job but can honestly say that I have loved the people that I have worked with and the job that I have done. But this chapter of my life has closed and to move forward you can never look back.
Not many people can say that they truly love what they do in life. I can!
A friend recently asked me, " Would you do it all again ?"
My response "In a heartbeat."
Because, even though I lost something and someone quiet dear to me, I gained my identity back and am now opening a new chapter in my life.
I'll leave you with two things that I am fond of.
No One Clapped
Fueled
by a million
man-made
wings of fire --
the rocket tore a tunnel
through the sky --
and everybody cheered.
by a million
man-made
wings of fire --
the rocket tore a tunnel
through the sky --
and everybody cheered.
Fueled
only by a thought from God --
the seedling
urged its way
through the thickness of black --
and as it pierced
the heavy ceiling of the soil ...
and launched itself
up into outer space
no one even clapped.
only by a thought from God --
the seedling
urged its way
through the thickness of black --
and as it pierced
the heavy ceiling of the soil ...
and launched itself
up into outer space
no one even clapped.
Marcie Hans
The second is an old Chinese proverb that a friend gave me
'I dreamed a thousand paths, I woke and walked my own'