Wednesday, 27 August 2014

Acceptance

Acceptance of things in life that you cannot change is a challenge. It's happened to me, in fact, at some point in time, it's happened to all of us. These days I accept that there are situations and people that I cannot change.

I've been caught in situations that I have not wanted to be in because, for one reason or another, they make you doubt the values that you have made for yourself in life. Most people have those values instilled or taught to them by their parents or role models growing up. I'm talking about everyday values like politeness, kindness, courtesy and plain old respect. They vary with all of us. I think if you have these values then you should never let a situation or for that matter a person ever compromise them.

Case in point, if I ever do settle down, I want to value the time that I have with that person. Not necessarily live in that persons pocket but enjoy new experiences or for that matter new places with them. Sure "absence makes the heart grow fonder" but I like to think like this "Spend your time on those that love you unconditionally. Don't waste time on those that only love you when the conditions are right for them"

In truth, if you do compromise, I feel that you lose a little of yourself. Likewise, if someone tries to change the inherent being and fibre of who you are, should you really want to be associated with them ?  I think to be caught in a one sided situation with someone who makes it all about them where you and your opinion don't really count, is not where I ever want to be. I value myself too much and if people cannot value me, then that is there problem. Simply put, move on and close the door on the situation and the person.

In this day and age where infinite technology exists I feel we are losing touch with the fundamental values that were taught to us or that we have grown up with that make us who we are. My advice is be true to yourself, keep your values however difficult. And at the end of the day, if someone or a situation is threatening those values, accept that you will never be able to change that person or the situation and close the door, turn the light off and walk away.....

EE Cummings once wrote...... the poem "If"

If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie warn't a lie,
Life would be delight,--
But things couldn't go right
For in such a sad plight
I wouldn't be I.

If earth was heaven and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
There might be some sense
But I'd be in suspense
For on such a pretense
You wouldn't be you.

If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
Things would seem fair,--
Yet they'd all despair,
For if here was there
We wouldn't be we.”    

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Love and other catastrophes

Relationships are something that need to be worked at in life. I've learnt that over time. It takes time and patience and above all else a sense a respect for the other person. Last year I read an article that made me stop and take notice.
It struck a chord with me because I believed everything that was described in the article. I adapted it to a relationship that I was in at the time because it is something that I truly believe.
We all yearn for the ideal partner, that person that makes your heart skip a beat or who you become acutely aware of as they enter a room..........
Read it and see what you think......

1. I’ll buy you things, but won’t try to buy you. Money can’t fix mistakes. Forgiveness can’t be bought. I believe money to be a tool, a bridge between where we are and where we can go in life; not a tool to pay for someone’s love, time, or affection. Without someone to share it with, nothing is worth a dime. I’ll try every day to earn what must be earned, not paid for.

2. Expect flowers. You’ll mention your favourite flower once and not even realize that I’ll remember it forever. Just know I’ll never see them as an adequate substitute for an apology, a replacement for treating you well, or a right to a previous wrong.

3. I’ll listen. Even when you’re being difficult, stubborn, and complicated.

4. I’ll remember. Your likes, so I can get close to them. Your dislikes, so I can avoid them. What your first Halloween costume was, so I can remind you how cute you looked. Where you’ve been, so I can be thankful for where you are. Where you want to go, so I can be inspired to go there with you. What your biggest dreams are, so I can do whatever I can to push you towards them. Where our first date was, so we can go back.

5. Thanks. By the time I get to you, I’ll have been hurt several times over. Thanks for letting me get to you, because in the end I’ll be getting into you only because you got to me first. You’re different in the best way possible.

6. Your value is not found in me. I have nothing to do with your value as a person, and you’ll know that. I’ll do my best to encourage and support the things that make you who you are, but the reason you have value is that you’re you. That’s truer than true.

7. You be my soft and sweet. I’ll be your strong and steady. Fill the holes left by my checkered past. Be the wine to my whiskey. The person you are will reflect the person I want to be, and together that’s just a whole big bunch of awesomeness. The world ain’t ready.

8. Never let me become normal. I was once told by someone very smart that I should be intimidated by the fear of being average. To this day, I am. You’re anything but normal, so expect the same from me.

9. You’ll never not be enough. I’ll give up time with my friends for more memories with you.

10. When I met you, I only wanted you to be happy. Even if it wasn’t with me.  The only goal from the beginning was to see you smile. This is just a bonus.

11. I’ll need a few hundred second chances, but hopefully no third ones. Mistakes stop being mistakes when they become matters of conscious decision. Never put up with me being foolish enough to be reckless with your emotions many times over.

12. It doesn’t matter what, where or when. It only matters who. Nights spent dressed up downtown when we’re 25 will be just as fun as staying home and doing the dishes together before watching a movie when we’re 30. Times change the people and the passion remain the same.

13. I’ll always remember our first date. I’ll never forget what you wore, what we did, what we talked about, or the feeling I had when I saw you walking my way. The way I tried not to let you catch my stare into your eyes will always resonate, and the tiny little thought that was so amazing was that those eyes were looking right back at me.

14. Everybody has a past. I won’t be the first guy you’ve dated, but I hope to be the last. I won’t bring your past hurt into our relationship. I won’t worry about where you’ve been, only where you are. It’s all about where we’re going.

15. I’ll date you forever. Dating isn’t merely a process before marriage. It continues afterwards. Easier said than done, but it’ll always be a priority for me to make you feel prioritized. Even if it means sacrificing time I could have solo with my friends, it’s always better when we’re together.

16. Hope you don’t get seasick. Time will be made for vacations whenever possible, whether it’s on a cruise for a week far from home, a couple of days in a cabin, or a date day nearby. I’ll never regret interrupting normal life to get away with you.

17. I’ll take the good stuff. No, that won’t be a tall one after work. It won’t be shots of Patron to numb a bad day, a fight, or a speed bump in the road of our marriage. I won’t be able to find the good stuff at the corner bar. It’ll be coming back to you, working it out, and moving on. The love I’ll have for you is stronger than the whiskey.

18. Take your time coming home. Take the long way around. If there’s ever a time when you’re tired of the view from the same window, a time when you feel the need to go find yourself, go. Go write your name in new sand and put your feet into new water. I’ll be here. I want to hold you, but I don’t want to hold you back.

19. Nothing safe is worth the drive. I know we’ve got bills to pay, and nothing figured out just yet. But let’s never forget to be spontaneous along the way. Teach me how to take more risks and live with more abandon for borders and guidelines. Let’s do things all the time that scare the living hell out of us and make our own new rules.

20. I’ve been waiting for you. I’ve hoped to become and be the person you’re looking for, and hoped my eyes would be shaped to hold you higher than the rest. You won’t be without your quirks, but I’ll love them endlessly. You’ve got that one thing that I’ll never be able to describe. All that you are is all that I’ll ever need.

So, alas, all that’s left is to meet you. Maybe I already have. Maybe when I do I’ll know immediately, or maybe the signs will come subtly along the way. All I have left to say is I’m glad you exist, because sooner or later, you’re going to be the best thing that has ever been mine.

I’ll leave you with this, “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain.”

I have no expectations in life, no ulterior motives, I can’t and don’t play games. I leave that to smarter people than me.
Some people wait there entire lives to find someone. The wait is worth it I think..........

Sunday, 3 August 2014

Nostalgia

One of my favourite movies, and this definitely shows how old I am, is St Elmos Fire.....And my favourite scene:

"Jules, y'know, honey... this isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time at the edge. "
 
 
I guess it reminds me, that no matter what is happening in your life, especially in the tough times, we just keep going........
 
I think that I have been truly blessed with friends and family that care a lot, not just about me and my well being, but what I'm doing in my life. Sometimes I think, that I have missed the opportunity to recognise and appreciate them for this.
 
So thank-you, to all those who have been there and continue to be there.........
 
John F Kennedy once wrote:
 
"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."


Saturday, 2 August 2014

The road

I sometimes wonder what I would have done if I wasn't a veterinarian.........
Would I be the person I am today? Would I be married or would I have a family?

I can't remember a time that I didn't want to become or practice as a vet but I sometimes wonder if I would have been just as happy as a GP.............

I recall, when I first started on the road to becoming a specialist, asking several specialists who I looked up to and respected if they had their time again would they repeat it all? I was surprised at some of the answers......... Some answered outright no whilst others hesitated saying, "I might of been just as happy not going that extra mile"

Now coming to the end of my training I am asking that same question of myself "Was it all worth it?"
In truth the answer is "YES" because I regret none of the decisions that I have made as they have made me who I am both personally and professionally.

Although trying at times, I have thoroughly enjoyed my time in the states. However, now I am at a crossroads again. Do I stay or do I go back home to my country, god's country......?

On the one hand Australia is and always will be home.....On the other, staying to teach and create a life over here feels and seems to be right just now.

Steve Goodier once wrote:
“My scars remind me that I did indeed survive my deepest wounds. That in itself is an accomplishment. And they bring to mind something else, too. They remind me that the damage life has inflicted on me has, in many places, left me stronger and more resilient. What hurt me in the past has actually made me better equipped to face the present.”