You get to a point in time when you are mentally and physically exhausted. Fear of being alone is present and that sick feeling that you will be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life wondering what the f*#@k happened and what could have I have done differently.
Moments in life define who we are and whether or not we really want to be caught in a situation like this. And sometimes it is so very hard because in truth no one ever wants to be alone and there is always that fear that you will be, if you elect to not be boxed in or treated like a doormat on life.
And where do you find that balance......I think I have looked for so long for a person that just wants to travel through life with me and walk next to me, not in-front nor behind me that I have resigned myself to the fact that this person for me, does not exist......Your parents always say "that there is someone out there for all of us" and for a lot of people that is true. If you find that true soul mate that simply appreciates you for being you remember to thank them every day and let them know how much you really appreciate them in your life......
In truth I have given up the search and I think now am closed to finding that person in life as I have found most people want something from me and in truth I have nothing left to give.....
I found this quote this evening that pretty much sums it up for me:
"When you're missing a piece of yourself, aching, gut wrenching emptiness begins to take over. Until you find the link that completes your very soul, the feeling will never go away. Most people find a way to fill this void, material possessions, a string of relationships, affairs, food...I bear my soul, with words, for all to see.” Anon.
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