Mothers

One of the problems with living overseas is that when something happens to loved ones you feel isolated. 8 000 miles might as well be the moon. I experienced that today when I got a phone call from home.

I knew as soon as i saw the mobile phone number that something was wrong. Call it a "spidey sense" or just plain intuition but there it was......

Mothers are the toughest of the tough. The world could be ending but they still manage to stay strong and be matter of fact about everything. Mine has been that way my entire life and still remains so to this day. She was ever so casual when I was talking with her that she had been admitted to hospital. Even more casual that she had an oroesophogastrocopy and biopsy and blase about the fact that she was having a CT for the suspect pulmonary thromboembolism.......

I think the one day of the year that we celebrate mothers is just not enough. Her response to me when I asked if there was anything that I could do"It is what it is. I can't change what has happened and the diagnosis will be what it is and we'll deal with it the same way we deal with everything else. One step at a time"

She has always been this way and always will.
Love you mum........

Rudyard Kipling once wrote

"God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers" 

Reflections

In the past few days I've read some of my old entries......Apart from bad grammar which I do apologise for, I have both smiled and shed a tear or two at some of the posts.

I started this in 2011 because I wanted in part to write, because let's face it everyone's got a story, but it was also to help me to heal....... Nowadays i write to share some of my experience, to vent, and to impart some of my beliefs.

I can honestly say that the writing makes me whole. I get that I'm not ever going write a great novel but I love being able to articulate my thoughts and feelings. And they have changed over time.

Several years ago I said that marriage and children were probably not ever going to be on my radar. In the last few years that has changed. I have watched my mates and for that matter even my family create precious life. And I have watched them mature, watched their focus and energy change. To transition from career orientation to be now family protective and focused........

Now don't get me wrong, I still love what I do, but I think to be able to just take some time for your friends, family and loved ones is really important in a day and age where we get so caught up in the every day rat race that is life.........

And don't worry, this is not my mid life crisis.......I sometimes just think it's really important to take some time to reflect and think what's important...........

I think to find a companion to journey through life with is important. And to take time for family and friends is even more important. For me, I am an as always an eternal optimist with regards to my future, although I do have a macabre sense of humour when it comes down to it. I don't know what life holds for me in the future but I'm sure it's going to be an adventure............

 “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain.”

Clarity

I've had a ball at home yet it has been a very difficult time. The realisation that life has gone since I left has been difficult.....

Also driving on the left side of the road again has been a challenge. I have found myself when taking off having to swerve to the correct side of the road again.....In all honesty it's a little bit like life.

Sometimes we lose our way. Sometimes the trees get in the way and the path becomes obscured by things and situations that are meaningless to long-term happiness.....

Coming home again has given me clarity......Somewhere along the way I lost the "why" and the "what for" that I have been doing it all for and why I started doing the residency. I let myself be weighed down by a situation that in all honesty is meaningless........

I have, for right or wrong reasons, let my judgement be clouded and lost for want of better words my "bravado" and "independence" to say "No I won't accept that situation and if you don't like it then that is your problem in life not mine".....Instead I have surrendered and been prostrate to the situation........

You know, my parents raised me better than that. Since being at home and talking with friends and family I have found that I am still the person that I use to be.........

I love this quote:

"Renew, release, let go. Yesterday's gone. There's nothing you can do to bring it back. You can't "should've" done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!"


Steve Maraboldi

Home sweet Home

I forgot how much I had missed this place. Getting off the plane after 16 hours gave me butterflies.

And hearing familiar Aussie accents on the plane and on arrival was spectacular. It was like meeting a long lost friend and picking up where you left off.

Even thou I was tired on arrival, the 2 hour drive home felt like it was all of five minutes. Small talk has never been my strong point, but I actually enjoyed not hearing about vet med, and talking crap about politics, the weather and the almighty footy grand final this weekend.

I mean who'd have thought, the last time Souths made a grand final was before I was born, in 1971, but here they are playing Canterbury this weekend.......

The almighty meat pie and sausage roll were first on the list......I must say it has been and was worth the wait. Then phone calls to some mates. Again, worth the wait especially as we picked up where we left off.

But above all else it was home. It was the little things that I have missed. The walk to the shopping center and grocery shopping.

Everything seems so insignificant now that I am home........

Bryce Courtney(my favorite author) once wrote:

"I have found in life that everything, no matter how bad, comes to an end."