Acceptance

Acceptance of things in life that you cannot change is a challenge. It's happened to me, in fact, at some point in time, it's happened to all of us. These days I accept that there are situations and people that I cannot change.

I've been caught in situations that I have not wanted to be in because, for one reason or another, they make you doubt the values that you have made for yourself in life. Most people have those values instilled or taught to them by their parents or role models growing up. I'm talking about everyday values like politeness, kindness, courtesy and plain old respect. They vary with all of us. I think if you have these values then you should never let a situation or for that matter a person ever compromise them.

Case in point, if I ever do settle down, I want to value the time that I have with that person. Not necessarily live in that persons pocket but enjoy new experiences or for that matter new places with them. Sure "absence makes the heart grow fonder" but I like to think like this "Spend your time on those that love you unconditionally. Don't waste time on those that only love you when the conditions are right for them"

In truth, if you do compromise, I feel that you lose a little of yourself. Likewise, if someone tries to change the inherent being and fibre of who you are, should you really want to be associated with them ?  I think to be caught in a one sided situation with someone who makes it all about them where you and your opinion don't really count, is not where I ever want to be. I value myself too much and if people cannot value me, then that is there problem. Simply put, move on and close the door on the situation and the person.

In this day and age where infinite technology exists I feel we are losing touch with the fundamental values that were taught to us or that we have grown up with that make us who we are. My advice is be true to yourself, keep your values however difficult. And at the end of the day, if someone or a situation is threatening those values, accept that you will never be able to change that person or the situation and close the door, turn the light off and walk away.....

EE Cummings once wrote...... the poem "If"

If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie warn't a lie,
Life would be delight,--
But things couldn't go right
For in such a sad plight
I wouldn't be I.

If earth was heaven and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
There might be some sense
But I'd be in suspense
For on such a pretense
You wouldn't be you.

If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
Things would seem fair,--
Yet they'd all despair,
For if here was there
We wouldn't be we.”